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Message to Parents

Is your child being bullied in school? Are you angry because the school is failing to make the bullying stop? Or are you furious because the school is accusing your child of being a bully?

If you have found that everything you and your school are doing to make bullying stop isn’t working, you have come to the right place! Bullies to Buddies™ has materials and services that really work!

The unreasonable expectations of anti-bullying policies

Parents are being led to believe that it is the school’s job to make sure no students get bullied. So parents justifiably get angry with the schools when they fail in this mission.

Unfortunately, schools are being expected to accomplish the impossible. Do you have more than one child? If so, there is a very good chance they fight every day and all of your efforts to get them to stop tormenting each other aren’t working. I  conducted a survey of a few thousand mental health professionals and educators–the experts who are supposed to protect your children from bullying in school. The results show that their own kids are four times more likely to be hit daily by a sibling at home than by another student in school. They are more than twice as likely to be called names daily by a sibling than by a student. If the professionals can’t get their own couple of kids to stop bullying each other at home, how can we expect them to make bullying in school disappear, when there may be as many as 30 or more students in a class?

Schools throughout the country are adopting anti-bully programs. Education’s “dirty little secret” is that these programs are usually worthless–or worse! Research conducted by psychologist David Smith, PhD, and published in the School Psychology Review revealed that the great majority of anti-bullying programs either produce no benefit or lead to an increase in bullying!  Major studies conducted since then have shown the same dismal results of the popular anti-bullying programs. So if you are expecting the school to protect your child from being bullied, you are likely to be disappointed.

There are many reasons why anti-bullying policies are so ineffective. The following is the most obvious. Let’s say you and I are kids in school. You bully me, and then I tell the teacher and you get sent to the principal and/or guidance counselor for bullying me. Is that going to make you like and respect me? Of course not! It will make you hate me. And you will hate the school staff, too! You’re going to want to beat me up after school, or try to get me in trouble with the school by telling them that I am bullying you.

What you can do

So what can a parent do? First of all, get rid of the idea that the school is doing nothing to make the bullying stop. There is a good chance that they are trying too hard to make it stop, but what they’re doing only makes the situation worse. Don’t be a hypocrite. Until you can figure out how to get everyone in your family to live in harmony, stop expecting the school to be able to make all the students live in harmony.

Ultimately, the best person to get your child to stop being bullied is your child. Bullying happens throughout life, and it happens most severely right at home. So the sooner you child learns how to deal with bullying, the better your child’s chances for living a happy, harmonious life. Fortunately, it is very easy to stop being bullied. To help your child learn how, Bullies to Buddies™ has both free materials as well as materials and programs for a fee.

There is a free manual on this website called How to Stop Being Teased and Bullied without Really Trying. It has helped many kids throughout the world, and we hope it will help yours, too. This website also has  Spanish and  Dutch translations. For bullying over the Internet, there is an article on Cyberbullying. There is another important article on How to Be a Good Sport.

There is another terrific way for your child to learn how to stop being verbally bullied while also teaching others. Does your child need to do a science experiment? Here is one that is a lot of fun and will teach your child and their class a lesson that will last a lifetime:

We have products for sale. The website manual, How to Stop Being Teased and Bullied without Really Trying, is available on CD so your child can listen to it instead of reading. It also contains a recording of me doing an exercise with a kid that demonstrates the cause and solution to bullying. We also have a book, longer and more detailed than the website manual, called Bullies to Buddies: How to turn your enemies into your friends.

Reading a manual or listening to a CD is not always enough. Some parents want their child to be helped by an expert they can actually talk to. Bullies to Buddies™ offers counseling for a fee, with a money-back guarantee. Kids can be helped either in office of by phone. Click here to learn about our counseling program.

Another important thing parents–and teachers–can do is to stop making the bullying escalate. The strange truth is that most bullying between kids is actually caused by adults…by the attempts of the adults to make children stop bullying each other! The very things we do to try to make kids stop fighting actually make them fight even more. Parents make this mistake at home with their own kids. Then the kids go to school and the school staff make the same mistake with the students. There is a free manual on this website, A Revolutionary Guide to Reducing Aggression between Children. It explains how adult intervention causes most of the bullying between kids, and how to dramatically reduce it by using two “magic” responses. You can also refer the school staff to this manual. If they end up using it, they will be very grateful to you. We also sell a printed and bound updated version of this manual for $10.

If you want to help the entire school, the most inexpensive way is for them to purchase our comprehensive bullying reduction program, Victim-Proof Your School. It contains a DVD for students, one for school staff, and a printed Trainer’s Manual.

Feel free to read my eye-opening, unconventional articles on bullying and related subjects. And while you’re reading this, how about signing up to be on our mailing list so you can receive my newsletters as soon as they are sent?

Ask your school to bring Bullies to Buddies to your school. Read a description of what the parents will learn in this presentation.

Best Wishes,
Izzy Kalman

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